Tom: A A E She's a super mega fugly with a mouldy mango twist, E A Complection like a pizza with warts and moles and zits. A D And just to even say her name you've gotta be half pissed, A E A Cause she's a super mega fugly with a mouldy mango twist. A E When she was born the doctor slapped her mother in the mouth, E A And when they brought her home they wouldn't let her in the house. A D And as she grew, it's sad to say, she just grew uglier, B E They tied some snags around her neck so the dog would play with her. A E Before she went to school each day they had to iron her face, E A She'd get the cuts for comin' early and merit points for comin' late. A D And they had her portrait painted in six different shades of shit, A E A Cause she's a super mega fugly with a mouldy mung bean twist. She's a super mega fugly with a mouldy mung bean twist, Including her own mum and dad she's never yet been kissed. And just to even say her name you've gotta be half pissed, Cause she's a super mega fugly with a mouldy mung bean twist. When she puts on her lipstick it keeps backin' down the tube, And I've woke up screamin' dreamin' that I've seen her in the nude. When she sits on the beach the tide's too frightened to come in, A sperm whale tried to root her last time she went for a swim. If they made an ugly-meter she'd blow the thing to bits, Under 'grotesque' in the dictionary there's a photo of her tits. And if I ever crack a fat for her I'd amputate me dick, Cause she's a super mega fugly with a busted arsehole twist. She's a super mega fugly with a busted arsehole twist, Hell's angels wouldn't root her, said they're not that fuckin' sick. So she bought herself a dildo but she couldn't keep it stiff, Cause she's a super mega fugly with a busted arsehole twist. She's a super mega fugly - Oh god she's fuckin' ugly! She's a super mega fugly with a hangin' haemmoroid twist.