Tom: C C Ten days in Bali, got four days to go ten days of terror cos im glued to the throne, F C Am D G7 And im shittin' in litres and firin' both ends, i'll never shit solid again. C And its cost me a fortune for this holiday, stead of pissin' it up, christ, im shittin' it away. F C Am D G7 C cause im glued to the loo while my mates are out raving, i'll never shit solid again. F C G7 C I'll never shit solid again, or hold anything down for as long as i live, F C Am D G7 C cause me arse is jammed open from freckle fatigue, i'll never shit solid again. C I called mum back home, she said mix up a cup of cornflour and gravox to thicken it up, F C Am D G7 then she pissed her self laughin and hung up the phone, i'll never shit solid again. C Just had a crap and im wiping me ring, havent quite finished, start spewin' again, F C Am D G7 C Jesus, hope i remember to use the right hand, i'll never shit solid again. F C G7 C i'll never shit solid again, so i'll rig up a faucet to stick up me ring, F C Am D G7 C at least when i fart i wont splatter me jeans, i'll never shit solid again. C I'm doin' cartwheels as i try to guess, a crap or a chunder christ whats comin' next, F C Am D G7 will it spray through me fingers or run down me leg, i'll never shit solid again. C slipped on some shit a foot thick on the floor, skidded arse over tit, then i spewed a bit more, F C Am D G7 C Now i gotta sift through it cause me denture fell in, i'll never shit solid again. F C G7 C I'll never shit solid again, me rings hanging out and me guts have caved in, F C Am i'll be buried in a bucket and me mates will all sing..................... D G7 C "He'll never shit solid again"