Satan Gave Me A Taco

Tom: E

E                           B
Satan gave me a taco and it made me really sick
A                           E
The chicken was all raw and the grease was mighty thick
E                           B
The rice was all rancid and the beans were so hard
A                           E
I was getting kinda dizzy eatin' all the lard
E                           B
There was aphids on the lettuce and I ate every one
A                           E
And after I was done the salsa melted off my tongue
E                           B
Pieces of tortilla got stuck in my throat
A                           E
And the stains on my clothes burned a hole through my coat
E                           B
My stomach was tremblin' and I broke out in a rash
A                           E
I was so dry and thirsty and I didn't have no cash
E                           B
So I went and found a hose tore off all my clothes
A                           E
Turned on the water and it shot right up my nose
E                           B
Some old lady came along and she flat out was a freak
A                           E
So she beat me with her handbag 'til I could hardly speak
E                           B
I was lying there naked my body badly bruised
A                           E
In a pool of my own blood unconscious and confused
E                           B
When the cops came and got me and threw me in their van
A                           E
And I woke up on the ceiling and I couldn't find my hand
E                           B
They took me to the judge his eyes were glowing red
A                           E
The courtroom was filled with witches and the dead
E                           B
The sheriff was a hell-hound with fangs and claws
A                           E
The prisoners were tied up and chained to the walls
E                           B
The air was getting thick the smoke was getting thicker
A                           E
The judge read the verdict said Cut off his head
E                           B
Well they placed me on the altar they raised up the axe
A                           E
My head was about to explode when I noticed the Marshall stacks
E                           B
I noticed all the smoke machines cameras and lights
A                           E
Some guy with a microphone runnin' around dancin' in tights  and I noticed
E                           B
The crew and the band playin' down below
A                           E
And I realized I was in a rock 'n' roll [video]
E                           B
So I went and joined the band and I went out on tour
A                           E
And I smoked a lot of heroin and I passed out in manure
E                           B
I made out with the groupies started fires backstage
A                           E
Made a lot of money and I gave it all away
E                           B
Well the band got killed so I started a solo career
A                           E
And I won all the awards and I drank all the beer
E                           B
I opened up a taco stand just to smell the smell
A                           E
Cookin' with the devil, fryin' down in hell